[zoetrope n. wheel of life, from the Greek ζωή zoe, life, and τρόπος, tropos, “turning”]
la ténèbre n’est point ténèbre devant toi
la nuit comme le jour est lumière
la ténèbre, c’est toujours ténèbre sans la vue
la nuit et le jour sont sans lumière
dot of light dart on black
lights in my eyes
lights in the sky
|grey: cloudy, overcast,
dull, dim, dark,
misty, foggy, murky
zebra flicks through the grass, shadow dancing on his side
until he’s gone, safe,
scent on the wind only clue
black, jet, death
zoetropic images flicker,
running man, child entranced
then dance away
grey: characterless, colourless, nondescript, unremarkable, faceless; lifeless, soulless, passionless, spiritless,
insipid, flat, bland,
ttttap tap tap, film flickers through the reel of my
we really wanted a
ocean, knife, slate
grey: unofficial, informal, irregular, back-door
train passes, rattle on rails, windows flicker and i can
see right through it,
tanker, skin, platinum
silver, white, aglow
|They checked my colour vision today
black on white, then fading shades of grey.
the op’s next week, i said.
We’re just getting a baseline, he said, didn’t look at my face, showing me image after image until it all blurred, him and me, shades of grey.
i want black and white back.
i had a letter from the school again. They said that they hoped i was doing okay.
They are having a night out if i’d like to come.
Just wait there, please. We’re going to test your visual field next. I need you to sit in the dark for thirty minutes so your retinas can adapt.
Sorry, we have to start again.
Kelly gets up, goes out, works, returns.
Kelly tries to offer sympathy.
i don’t want it.
5, there isn’t 5, is there?
Was there supposed to be a light?
So it looks like the left eye is a little worse that the right.
can’t be there, white guy, black chair, black man, white coat, light out, lights on, glare defeats me.
stumble out, half sight no good as i ricochet down the corridor.
Did you know it is pressure on the inner side of the nerve that causes damage to the outer side of your vision? It crosses over, you see.
i burst out of the hospital, daylight too bright, can’t drive home, can’t face the walk when
half my world is gone.
References and credits:
- La ténèbre from Taizé
- Zoetrope inspiration for word definitions derives from oed.com and etymonline.com accessed 1 April 2015.
- Zoetrope image from https://github.com/ndrwhr/andrewhoyer/blob/master/blog_archive/2011-09-28-building-the-zoetrope.md accessed 1 April 2015.
- Contrast chart image from https://www.good-lite.com/Details.cfm?ProdID=617 accessed 1 April 2015.
- Pelli Robson chart from http://www.psych.nyu.edu/pelli/pellirobson/ accessed 1 April 2015.
- Photo of Goldman field tester fromhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/18/Goldmann_Perimeter.png accessed 1 April 2015.
- Drawing of Image of Goldman field tester http://www.perimetry.org/PerimetryHistory/images/Aubert5.gif accessed 1 April 2015.
- Running man from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/379920918534931445/ accessed 1 April 2015.
Wow, powerful stuff Antonia. I’m really feeling a certain amount of despondency in with the panic and uncertainty…
Good! Thanks for continuing to read and comment