Blindsided: In Magnetic Resonance Imagery

i have an appointment slot date meeting engagement rendezvous

to see / pour voir the blind seer

Have you read the guidelines to

my buttons, zip, belt buckle seized by unseen force, body pulled against cage walls

decide, resolve; to arrange the time of

remove all metal parts?

action of coming together

hollow at the base of the throat above the breastbone hoofprint of horse or deer

narrow opening shut close lock bolt contract

We were thinking of pacemakers, aneurysm clips

drink crystallised water cells align

wedding ring,

make ready, arrange, settle, place

hearing aid

head strapped in place

shrapnel.

i breathe seek calm seek

False teeth?

metal fillings? is amalgam magnetic?

Do you have any tattoos?

last thought transmission error as i vanish

Would you like some music?

return to white metal womb

Do you suffer from claustrophobia?

duly fitly sucked into

Hold this buzzer.

present yourself

Don’t move

place for assembling of troops

count the tracks

leaving my body want to leave it behind,

à point, to the point

some substitute teacher is in my classroom right now, guiding year eleven closer to their future

I am leaving them unguided

to pass through King Lear

while Jack White tells me love is blindness

rays resonate, scanning for the disease that’s in my flesh

[punctum: see point]

magnetic field align my protons, radioblast shoves them, adrift in my body, return to natural state

except … (somewhere in my head) quiet violence exists

[battle, fight between armies or fleets]

anschluss   annexation  realign my cells

[datus: given]

until …

[agree, settle]

(I’m no longer host)

All done now.

sound again

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4 thoughts on “Blindsided: In Magnetic Resonance Imagery

  1. Such an unusual writing style! Is she having an MRI? I felt disorientated and confused just reading it which seems to echo what the character is feeling. A very effective claustrophobic piece. I’d love to hear more about this style of writing – what your method and thought-process is etc – am intrigued! Thanks for linking to #WhatImWriting.x

    • Thank you. It is part of a series of work telling the story of going through the hospital system with brain cancer. It does aim to disorientated, just like the hospital system does, and sit has come from an Experimental Writing module I did last term … Most of the work since January has come out of this.

  2. Another incredible installment Antonia. The mind is clearly all jumbled up and terrified. Yet I still feel a sense of underlying submissive calm… Almost a ‘what will be, will be’ attitude. But then, right underneath that is the underlying panic, sadness and tragedy again. Wonderful to read and thanks for linking up to #WonderfulWorldofWriting again Antonia 🙂

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