i have an appointment slot date meeting engagement rendezvous
to see / pour voir the blind seer
Have you read the guidelines to
my buttons, zip, belt buckle seized by unseen force, body pulled against cage walls
decide, resolve; to arrange the time of
remove all metal parts?
action of coming together
hollow at the base of the throat above the breastbone hoofprint of horse or deer
narrow opening shut close lock bolt contract
We were thinking of pacemakers, aneurysm clips
drink crystallised water cells align
wedding ring,
make ready, arrange, settle, place
hearing aid
head strapped in place
shrapnel.
i breathe seek calm seek
False teeth?
metal fillings? is amalgam magnetic?
Do you have any tattoos?
last thought transmission error as i vanish
Would you like some music?
return to white metal womb
Do you suffer from claustrophobia?
duly fitly sucked into
Hold this buzzer.
present yourself
Don’t move
place for assembling of troops
count the tracks
leaving my body want to leave it behind,
à point, to the point
some substitute teacher is in my classroom right now, guiding year eleven closer to their future
I am leaving them unguided
to pass through King Lear
while Jack White tells me love is blindness
rays resonate, scanning for the disease that’s in my flesh
[punctum: see point]
magnetic field align my protons, radioblast shoves them, adrift in my body, return to natural state
except … (somewhere in my head) quiet violence exists
[battle, fight between armies or fleets]
anschluss annexation realign my cells
[datus: given]
until …
[agree, settle]
(I’m no longer host)
All done now.
sound again
Such an unusual writing style! Is she having an MRI? I felt disorientated and confused just reading it which seems to echo what the character is feeling. A very effective claustrophobic piece. I’d love to hear more about this style of writing – what your method and thought-process is etc – am intrigued! Thanks for linking to #WhatImWriting.x
Thank you. It is part of a series of work telling the story of going through the hospital system with brain cancer. It does aim to disorientated, just like the hospital system does, and sit has come from an Experimental Writing module I did last term … Most of the work since January has come out of this.
Another incredible installment Antonia. The mind is clearly all jumbled up and terrified. Yet I still feel a sense of underlying submissive calm… Almost a ‘what will be, will be’ attitude. But then, right underneath that is the underlying panic, sadness and tragedy again. Wonderful to read and thanks for linking up to #WonderfulWorldofWriting again Antonia 🙂
Thanks for reading and commenting Carol – really appreciate you sticking with this!