And another attempt…

if you are broken 7

… I think the grid was a helpful transitional stage and feel like this is getting closer to what I want, although it’s still not quite there.

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14 thoughts on “And another attempt…

  1. This is taking on a beautiful shape, and I like the way the lines have been rearranged, connected and fragmented to generate deeper layers of meaning. Also, the screen shot works well for layout, good idea! I’m glad the grid helped: it looked a bit Oulipian to begin with, but it seems to have generated something much more energetic 🙂

  2. lovely, but (oh you are going to kill me) I think the wavy pattern detracts from the words! I think if you read it out loud to yourself you will hear a natural rhythm to the poem and I think that the line breaks and stanza breaks could follow this pattern without the wavy txt ?????

    • It’s fine – I’ll wait until everyone’s out of the house and work on the line breaks/waves etc, because I agree it is a bit arbitrary at the moment! Version 5 …or is it 6 …. may hit the screen tomorrow.

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