Standard Posted by 38to39a Posted on February 4, 2015 Posted under Experimental writing, Poetry Comments 14 Comments And another attempt… … I think the grid was a helpful transitional stage and feel like this is getting closer to what I want, although it’s still not quite there. Advertisements Share this:TwitterFacebookGoogleLike this:Like Loading... Related coldexperimental writingwaveswriting exercises Post navigation ← Experimental writing workshop 2 (another edit) Experimental writing workshop 3 (First Draft) → 14 thoughts on “And another attempt…” Beautiful both in words and presentation. I love this 🙂 Reply Thank you – this has been an uphill struggle! Reply …but one worth doing 🙂 🙂 This is taking on a beautiful shape, and I like the way the lines have been rearranged, connected and fragmented to generate deeper layers of meaning. Also, the screen shot works well for layout, good idea! I’m glad the grid helped: it looked a bit Oulipian to begin with, but it seems to have generated something much more energetic 🙂 Reply I hope so … the grid did help me take it apart, rearrange, and come back with something that I’m happier with, even if it isn’t finished! Reply lovely, but (oh you are going to kill me) I think the wavy pattern detracts from the words! I think if you read it out loud to yourself you will hear a natural rhythm to the poem and I think that the line breaks and stanza breaks could follow this pattern without the wavy txt ????? Reply It’s fine – I’ll wait until everyone’s out of the house and work on the line breaks/waves etc, because I agree it is a bit arbitrary at the moment! Version 5 …or is it 6 …. may hit the screen tomorrow. Reply Before I even started reading this I liked the look of it, the wavy pattern is quite restful! I love the words too – I’ve just gone back and read your last few pots and it interesting to see the evolution of this poem. I included one of your posts in my BritMums Poetry and Prose roundup by the way: http://www.britmums.com/2015/02/poetry-prose-round-winter-warmers/ I loved that story! Reply thank you very much for the comment, Maddy. And definitely thank you for including me in the round up! Reply Hi Antonia, what an emotional piece and I love the way you have shaped the words to add depth and power. x Reply thank you! Reply I love both the presentation and the words. There is something calming about it yet so very cold (or maybe because I am sitting here wrapped in a blanket today!). Beautiful. Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought x Reply Thank you – it was very cold when I wrote it! Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here... Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Email (required) (Address never made public) Name (required) Website You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Google+ account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change ) w Cancel Connecting to %s Notify me of new comments via email.